Only our daughter ate breakfast, not because we were nervous but because we had eaten so much the night before. I spent some time writing down some questions for the director and after a few nervous visits to the toilet Chris rang us to tell us the director had arrived to drive us to the welfare institute.
We packed all of the gifts, our older clothes and some pens and paper and off we went. The journey was short and the streets of Ning Yuan were pulsing with commuters and transporters; many of them staring at the foreigners haplessly wandering around. We finally drove down a side street, and were immediately distracted by three puppies also wandering around, then a tight left through some gates and there we were, the focal point of our journey.
The building was a robust concrete block with bars on the windows, golden characters above the entrance and a drive punctuated by a large landscaped roundabout and a badminton net. We alighted and went straight in, and were led up stairs to the directors office and sat down. Tea was served, in small plastic cups, and I presented the director with the watch as a gift, again trying to articulate our feelings in Mandarin. We were joined by the assistant director of the civil affairs office and our daughter's orphanage mother, who I later found out to be called Ài Zhēn Yún 艾珍云; who we later began to call Ài. Our daughter gave Ài a gift, which was initially taken by the civil affairs office staff, but quickly returned. This had been hastily sourced the night before as we were unaware of Ài's existence but now felt an immediate bond that needed to be recognized.
Chris once again mediated and we began to ask questions, initially we asked some cultural and geographical questions, firstly to start the ball rolling but also to help us with creating a better understanding of the Ning Yuan people. Buddhism and Confucianism seemed to be the predominant belief systems, with tofu and pork balls, duck with duck blood and chicken in vinegar the favorite dishes. Weightlifting, ping pong and badminton the chosen sports and Confucius day, children's day and Guan yin day the celebrated holidays. Agriculturally spice, peanuts, rice, vegetables and tobacco are grown as the main crops and porcelain objects are manufactured. We asked about local fables and stories but were only shown a children's storybook authored by a friend of the institute.
We began to ask about our daughter specifically and were told the original records were no longer available. Her Chinese name was derived from Yong Zhou's 'Yong', Ning Yuan's 'Ning' and because she was the third child in that rotation 'Chang' from the dictionary. That her date of birth was estimated, with a 1 or 2 day margin of error, from her umbilicus and how it had healed. It had been suggested initially she had been abandoned at four weeks and this was exceptional, that was debunked straight away and we were told it was quite normal. The scar on her hip we had thought was a mark from her biological parents was examined by Ài and explained as the effect of the cord on her string pants rubbing her skin. Ài also went on to explain she remembered our daughter very well and had kept a photo of her for some time after the adoption, but was upset and put it away, only for it to get lost. She remembered our daughter as a quiet child, who would either walk or stand still and watch the world go by. She ate a lot and went to the toilet a lot, and was never naughty. But, if she could reach something it went in her mouth.
It would have been very clinical without Ài's input, she seemed very genuine and was tearful on occasion but did make a big fuss of our daughter at every turn. The institute was just that and the fact they had 'nothing else on file' seemed to bring the visit to an end.
However, as we spoke one child came in and out of the office to elicit fruit from the director's table and having shared it with us we followed her out into the corridor to see other children walking around. There were only eleven at the institute now, in 2007 there had been around 200 at a time, so the picture would have been quite different when our daughter was here. The emphasis now was on the aged. We were shown down the corridor into the dormitories and into the lives of the children there and apart from a few head lice they all looked in good health. I sometimes find situations like this difficult, too intense, and so took out three satsuma like fruits from my pocket and juggled for the child who had been in the director's office, she smiled and laughed and together we diffused my creeping tension. She then held my hand and we proceeded with the tour.
After a while we returned to the car park and the director's car and proceeded back onto the streets of Ning Yuan. It was not long before we parked in front of the communist party school and alighted to view some concrete steps outside. This was our daughter's finding place, the place her biological family had seen fit to leave her and left her to fate's mercy in the hope there was a better future for their child. The suggestion was they were either living locally or, more likely, had come to town to work, for economic reasons from the surrounding countryside. And it was here, on the steps of this school they said goodbye. I could not help but notice a bus stop outside the school, on this busy arterial road running through Ning Yuan, and my mind began to dwell on the logistics of how she would have been left here.
We returned to the institute to be taken to the local civil affairs office next door to drink some warm water and with Chris' help 'chew the fat' with the director of the welfare institute and the assistant director of the civil affairs department. We talked about kids and the similarities between our lives and countries and they then took us to lunch. The food was simple but appeared to be traditional Húnán, it was a little spicy and a whole lot delicious, and we sat, ate, talked, ate more, drank, toasted and ate even more for some time. The Chinese food culture and dynamic was becoming very clear, and as much as my Mandarin was not progressing very well, my cultural understanding was increasing exponentially.
Although our visit to the institute could have been very two dimensional, the staff and children, the sights and smells and the cultural insight had created a very colorful and vivid memory. One that I hope will support our daughter's understanding of who she is, so she can be more positive about her past and the people who looked after her when she needed them.
第7天是2016年12月22日 - 第1部分。
第7天是2016年12月22日，这是我们计划旅行的一天，那里是没有压力！
只有我们的女儿吃早餐，不是因为我们紧张，而是前一天晚上我们已吃了很多。我花了一些时间写下一些问题，一点紧张地等待家人上完厕所后，克里斯告诉我们，主任已经抵达，要带我们去福利院。
我们收拾好所有的礼物，我们的旧衣服、一些笔和纸，我们就出发了。路途很短，虽然宁远的街道上有通勤的人和交通工具; 其中很多人无助地徘徊看着我们。最后我们开进一条小巷，立刻转移三只四处游荡小狗的注意力。然后很快地左转通过一些门后，我们抵达了那里。
这个建筑物是坚固的混凝土构造，铁条围在窗户上，在入口上方可看见几个金光闪闪的大字，车道环绕一个大型的园景和一个羽毛球网。我们下车，直接上楼到主任办公室坐，他们端茶给我们，把我们带来的手表送给主任作为礼物。民政办公室的副主任和福利院我们女儿的奶妈也加入我们，后来我发现她叫“艾珍云”。后面都会以”艾”称呼她，我们的女儿给了艾一个礼物，民政办公室副主任确认过后交还给她。
透过克里斯翻译，我们开始问些问题，刚开始我们问一些文化和地理问题，逐步地帮助我们更理解宁远人。佛教和儒家思想似乎是主要的信仰体系，豆腐和猪肉球(狮子头)、鸭血豆腐和醋溜仔鸡是他们最喜欢的菜。举重，乒乓球和羽毛球是他们的运动项目，孔子诞辰日、儿童节和观音诞辰日是他们庆典节日。农业香料，花生，大米，蔬菜和烟草是这里主要的作物，这里也有瓷器制造。我们问关于当地的寓言和故事，但他们只展示了一个由福利院的朋友所作的童书。
我们开始问些有关我们的女儿更具体的事，但原先的记录已不可考。她的中文名字来自于永州的永，宁远的宁，因为她是第三个从字典中轮到畅的孩子。她的出生日期是从脐带愈合程度估计，大概是1天或2天的误差范围。一开始有人说她是在四个星期后被抛弃的，我以为那样是例外，但他们告诉我们这是相当正常。她臀部的疤痕，我们原以为是她的原生父母所标记的，但艾检查并解释，那是因为裤子上的绳子摩擦她的皮肤所造成。艾也继续解释，她记得我们的女儿很好，而且在她被领养后她仍保存她的照片一段时间，但是感觉很失落，心烦意乱，就把它给丢了。她记得我们的女儿是一个安静的孩子，不论是走路或站着，总是看着人来人往。她吃了很多，也拉了很多，从来不淘气。但是如果有东西她就往她的嘴里塞。
艾她说得很有感觉，她看起来很真实，有时含着眼泪，也确实很关心我们女儿的每一个举动。福利院有的信息就只有这些，事实上一直到访问结束，他们也没有什么其他有关我们女儿的资料。
然而，当我们正在谈话中，一个孩子进出办公室，从主任的桌子拿了水果，并与我们分享，我们跟着她走到走廊，看到其他孩子四处走着。现在在福利院只有十一个小孩，在2007年时约有200个，所以这景象已是大不相同。现在的重点是老年人。我们沿着走廊进入宿舍参观，并进入看那里孩子的生活，除了有几个头上有头虱外，他们看起来都很健康。我发现有时这样太紧绷了，所以我从我的口袋里拿出三个像水果的无核蜜柑，为那个在主任办公室的孩子耍弄戏法，她笑了笑，笑声一起弥漫开来也缓和了我的紧张。然后她握着我的手，我们继续参观。
过了一会儿，我们回到了停车场，上了主任的车，然后回到宁远的街道上。我们停在共产党学校前面没有太久，下车看看外面的一些混凝土台阶。这是发现我们女儿的地点，她的原生父母认为在那里是离开她比较适合地方，任她由命运摆布，希望他们的孩子未来有一个更好的地方。根据福利院同仁的说法，是有几种可能性，可能他们是住在本地，或更有可能他们是从周围的乡村来到城里工作，出于经济原因，他们才会在这里，在这所学校的台阶上跟她说再见。因为这个公共汽车站牌是在学校旁边，这是条人们通往宁远繁忙的主干道。
我们回到民政办公室，并带我们到隔壁的地方民政办公室喝一些温开水，在克里斯的协助下与福利院主任和民政部助理主任闲话家常。我们谈论孩子和我们的生活，以及国家之间的相似之处，然后他们带我们去吃午饭。食物很简单，但似乎是传统的湖南菜，有点辣，一大堆好吃的，我们坐，吃，说话，吃了很多，喝，烤，甚至吃了很久的时间。我们对中国的食物文化和动态越来越清楚，虽然我的普通话没有很大的进展，但我对文化的理解却正呈指数般增长。
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